Grateful

After experiencing the scariest moment of my mothering life yesterday, I am feeling especially grateful today for the safety of this sweet baby.

We were out grocery shopping (Leah was lying back in her carseat which was attached to the front of the grocery cart) when she began choking on a piece of a sucker (bad mommy). She wasn't making any sound and it took me a second to realize what was happening, but as soon as I did, I began trying to rip her out of her carseat. My hands were such a shaky mess at this point and I could not unbuckle her fast enough. I thought I about had her out, then I realized one of her legs was still strapped...which is about the time I saw she was beginning to turn blue. I grabbed the whole carseat and tried to flip her face down, all the while hysterically screaming for help.

I finally got her completely out and began a weak attempt at the heimlich before a woman (who turned out to be a nurse!) snatched her out of my arms. Shortly after, the piece, along with throw up, came flying out. Leah began coughing and crying which we couldn't have been happier to hear! It took me a good, long while to stop shaking and crying. Pretty darn sure Leah was okay before I was. Actually, I know she was considering the fact that I continued to cry about it off and on for the rest of the day.

I keep replaying it in my mind and wondering if it was as bad as I'm remembering it (I always second guess myself). I'm obviously not cool under pressure (think hole in Claire's neck), but I'm pretty sure this was a pretty scary, life threatening situation. Tom and I talked about how crazy it was that the woman closest to me happened to be a nurse. We don't think that was coincidence; a bit more like Heavenly Father's answer to a frantic mother's prayer.  How extremely grateful I am that things turned out like they did!