There are definitely some key points and ideas that I like so far. Like the section about the 3 natural temperaments children come with and also the part about not labeling your child negatively (ie. instead of "fussy" use "selective" or instead of "slowpoke" use "thoughtful and deliberate"). All that makes sense to me. The part, however, I'm not so sure about (which is the main part of the book) is speaking "Toddler-ese." Throughout the book the author basically compares toddlers to Stone Agers and that that is how we need to communicate with them during a tantrum.
An example from the book say if Reese is throwing a tantrum about wanting to go outside is for me to say, "Out!...Out!...Out!...OUT! You are bored...bored...bored...BORED! And you want OUT! You say, 'Go, Mommy...go, GO!!!" This is supposed to get her attention quickly and make her feel understood so that she calms down. It sounds kind of psycho to me, and the author acknowledges that, but at the same time says it really works. I want to try it, but it will definitely initially be in the privacy of my own home!!! I'm only half-way through the book so far, but I'm just wondering if anybody's tried it. I've heard AMAZING things about his book "The Happiest Baby on the Block." Thoughts?! Suggestions for other books?!
9 comments:
All I can say is please PLEASE post a video on your blog of you practicing this technique. Funny! I'll be waiting...
Hi Rachel! I'm a long time reader, first time commentor. :) I have not read Happiest Toddler on the Block and I wasn't way impressed with Happiest Baby on the Block. However, I have read and LOVE the Baby Whisperer books. They are by Tracy Hogg and she has one about toddlers that is great! But I think with any book you read, you have to pick and choose what works for you...your personality, your family make-up, your child's personality, etc. Good luck!
I haven't read this one but the Happiest Baby video where he shows how to calm a crying baby saved my life with Jacey. Mostly the swaddling.
My pediatrician said to completely ignore a tantrum, which is the only thing that works for us. Sounds kind of opposite of this advice so I'm not sure what to make of it. Have you read Parenting with Love & Logic? Highly recommend that one. I don't 100% buy into it, but I agree with the core philosophy anyway.
Although I am the world's biggest fan of Happiest Baby on the Block, I can't say that I feel the same way about the Toddler one. I actually watched the video (check your library) instead of reading it so I could see him in action, but I felt like he contradicted himself quite a bit, especially when it came down to the live questions/answers from parents. There were a couple of good points, but overall I recommend that you keep on looking. We're totally going through the same thing right now, so please let me know once you find a winner. :)
I don't know, anyone can write a book these days.
I haven't read the toddler version (although I really enjoyed the baby one and used several of his techniques with both babies.) I don't think I could ever speak his "Toddler-ese" in public though and you definitely want to use techniques that you can use both in and out of the home. I agree with the whole "ignore tantrums" philosophy. I find that most of Abby's tantrums aren't from being misunderstood, but from not getting what she wants or to get my attention. (Abby is a bit older than Reese though and her verbal skills are pretty advanced at this point.) We are still working on this, but I have also found that highly praising her when she does something right has also been helping to reduce the number of tantrums she has. Just my little two cents. I know each child is so different so its always good to pull ideas from a lot of different sources and go with what works for you and your child the best.
I talk to my children (babies and toddlers too) like they are real people speaking in real English. Kind of like a teach by example thing. Let me know how it goes!
I haven't read any books on parenting, maybe I should :)No but really I use something different with each child. With Lexi she didn't do a ton of fits but when she did I would tell her that "Mommy doesn't understand fits, and if she wanted to use words then I could hear her" if it was a fit for something she wanted I would just use the distraction technique where you get them focused on something else. Now that she is older Guilt is great! :)
With Grace it is a totally different story! Grace has a hard time saying what she wants to say sometimes, sometimes she will say "What's that word again?" I use the naughty spot with both girls though. Grace is my major melt down child whom I have removed from more than one store because I try to only beat my kids in private hee hee (for anyone that doesn't know that was a joke, no need to call CPS) No, with her it depends on the day the fit and me. My advice is I think we are all doing the best we can to be good moms who raise productive members of society and as long as that is your goal "just keep swimmin"
Sorry that was sooo long!
I haven't read that book....but I did take the most fantastic and life-changing parenting course last year. The website is:
http://www.capabilitiesinc.com/
Steve has now listened to all the cd's and taking this class is probably the best thing I've ever done. I don't know if it might be a little old for Reese's age, but it helped me with looking at myself individually, my marriage, and especially in parenting. I'm not sure how you'd find out if one is being taught near you, but at the very least the materials/books/especially the lectures are great.
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