(I actually wrote this over a week ago in response to your comments regarding the pacifier, but I've been out of town and didn't get to posting it before I left.)
Can I just tell you how great you all are? I think this is one of the main reasons I love blogging so much---it's a place where I can vent whatever's on my mind then get such loving support from all of you. I really do appreciate it.
If I sound like a complete stress case of a mother to you, it's probably because I am. Some parents seem so chill and like parenthood just comes so easy for them. I always thought that would be me. I mean, a stay-at-home mom is always what I dreamed of being so I just figured because I wanted it so much it would just flow. And while being super chill has never really been in my nature, becoming a parent has definitely brought out a more stressed out Rachel than ever before. I'm just always worried about something. Always. Most of my stresses revolve around their sleep. I realize that all parents worry to a certain extent, but I would really just love to be a little more relaxed about it all. It makes me laugh that when I was little I wanted 10 kids!!! Ha! That number has slowly made it's way down to 3. Well, Tom wants 5, I want 3, so we think we may settle on 4. We'll see. :)
A few weeks ago I was reading through a talk by Elder M. Russell Ballard entitled "Daughters of God" (Thanks Hollie) and there was a part in it that really stood out to me...
Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother. Parents can offer a unique and wonderful kind of prayer because they are praying to the Eternal Parent of us all. There is great power in a prayer that essentially says, “We are steward-parents over Thy children, Father; please help us to raise them as Thou wouldst want them raised.”
This really hit me and was so comforting because sometimes I feel like I rely too much on books or what so and so is doing with her child. And while those resources can definitely be of help, my biggest resource should be my Heavenly Father through prayer. Sometimes I need a reminder of how very specifically I can pray for each of my children and how very specific the answers can be. My concerns regarding my children are His concerns--no matter how silly they may be. If it's a big deal to me, it's a big deal to Him. Because afterall, these little ones really are His.
That's really all. I just wanted to say thank you to all of you for backing me up and supporting me with all my silly motherly concerns.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Thanks Guys!!
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14 comments:
i'm convinced that the only reason that Nate is potty trained is because of excessive prayer. You feel silly saying, help Nate go stinky on the potty, but well, when it works, it works.
I love your stories, keep 'em coming! So did you start thinking three after having one, or two? I don't know if I believe you, I mean, when your babies aren't babies anymore, won't you want another one? It seems like moms weaken their resolve when the babies are getting older...
I was so happy that I got to see you on Sunday!! You need to come to Vegas more often! Your girls are so darling and you look great!
I loved your post SO much! I have to say that I feel the EXACT same way as you. Having kids has brought out so much anxiety in me. My family thinks I am crazy sometimes. I just want to keep them safe and protected and happy. . . and this world just scares the crap out of me!! Thanks for the reminder that I need to rely on my Heavenly Father more. Who knew that being a mom would be so worrisome- I never understood it until I had Riley. Sadly my craziness seems to multiply with each child. . .so I will be lucky if I get to 3:)
Holy Moly I have been so out of it!! I just had to read back a few posts so I could catch up with all the "Boppy" talk!! It's funny cause the older I get the more relaxed I get as a parent and I didn't think I would be relaxed AT ALL! Don't get me wrong there are still things that I might think more about but for the most part I just let things go so I don't get any more gray hairs!!
See now I have not had much experience with "boppies" because see, Lexi would never take one, we got rid of Grace's before she turned 1, and James never wanted them either. So I personally don't have advice other than we all do the best we can as parents and that we know our kids and what works and doesn't work for them.
I think one of my favorite stories about pacifiers, ok I know this is getting long but it's worth it, my sister was um like 3 or 4 and my parents made a trip to Washington State and they were going to the Temple and my little sister took her "pacie" out of her mouth telling my mom she didn't want Jesus to see it! How cute right!? So fast forward and my little sister who is now 18 just moved out into her own apartment!! So no worries, they grow up soo fast just love em and enjoy em for as long as you can while they are little!!Love ya
Rachel - I just popped over for an update, and I really appreciated your thoughts. Very helpful for a mother who has been similarlly stressing about various things (I think most of us do!).
Hope you guys are doing well! Love those sweet little angel-face daughters of yours!
You're so right about the books. They can only help so much. Thanks for the great reminder of where our true source of "motherly" help should come from.
Okay, I am apologizing up front about the length of this! Kaelyn had a binky til she was 3...3!!!! To be fair, it was always only at night, so it wasn't too awful (I'm not that mom with the 3 year old in public with a binky--but I am the mom w/a 20 month old in public w/a binky!)
I sent them up on balloons on her 3rd b-day and she cried her heart out! All was well until we moved Liam into her room, and bam! Now she takes his every dang night!
And Damien's never home with overtime and school (go firefighter wives, we do it alone!), so now Liam is "my bink my bink" ALL DAY.
So the point of my big story is that you are not a bad mom if a binky saves your sanity, and if it means your little girl can sleep and not be crazy the rest of the day, then, well that's just a-ok. Rachel, your girls are happy and healthy, who cares if they have a boppy? You are a good mom.
Don't have anything profound to comment. I miss talking with you and sharing thoughts. A lot. Denver (or Utah) '09 baby!!
I realize that it doesn't matter how together you have it (or lack thereof), you will always be hardest on yourself. I constantly compare myself to other moms out there. Wishing I had certain capabilities of one person, and the patience of another. It never ends, and it doesn't get any easier as your kids get older. I don't know how our moms did it with so many, but I'm sure it's because it's a different time. We CAN'T be as laid back as our parents were.
Trust me when I say that you are an amazing mom, Rachel.
Wow. Cool post. I love that quote, and I love your reflections on it too. And I ditto Ginger - it's a different time. Perhaps chill parents aren't what's needed today.
Wow! Lots of good stuff was said. I have to say the binky box was such a great idea! We tell Katie to put her binky back in her bed when she gets up and she knows it'll be there when she goes back down... no fighting! Thanks for that.
I agree that we are usually the hardest on ourselves. The girl I run with is always telling me how fat she is and what she's doing wrong as a mother... in reality, she is NOT fat and she is one of the kindest, and greatest people you will ever meet. (BTW, she grew up with Emily and Tamara Leavitt.) Anyway, I think you do a great job all together... Mother, wife, and friend!
I love Elder Ballard's talk that you quoted so much that I have it on my iPod. When I'm feeling down whether it be as a mom, wife, or just woman I listen to that talk. I think my favorite line is, "Water cannot be drawn from an empty well." How true is that? I found in the last few months that if I take time for myself, even if it means taking away from family/couple time, I am a much happier person all around. I used to feel guilty about it because there seems to be something you can be doing and the laundry and cleaning never ends... but believe me, it's totally worth it. My running has been my outlet lately and I've found how much of a stress reliever it has been. I know that doesn't sound like a fun thing to do, but since I run with Angela I really enjoy it and she listens to my latest and greatest problems. By the time I'm done I feel better and I don't think about my problems so much.
Now that I've taken up all your space... I think you do a fabulous job! Motherhood is one of the most noble responsibilities we will ever have, but it is most certainly one of the hardest. Hug those sweet girls for me and remember to take time for yourself... Tell Tom I said so... and so did Elder Ballard!!! We must heed the words of the Elders. :) Love you girl!!!
Oh Rachel, I loved that post. I can't believe how much I feel the exact way you described.....sigh.....thank you, thank you!
Wow, thanks for that. I really need to be reminded of that too. I will have to look up the rest of the talk. See you Tues.:)
You are so right, Rachel. You are the best mother for your children. Reading books and gathering as much info. as possible is great, but ultimately, we have great guidance from above that comes to us individually for our own children. I am so grateful for that. It took me a while to figure that one out. Good thing you're one step ahead. Mothering is definitely challenging, but you are a great mother. P.S. The scary Easter Bunny cracked me up because I've always been terrified of those costumes! It was great being with you this past week. I hope you're having fun in Vegas.
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