Aw, sweet school! Only wish these cute smiles would have lasted past the first day.
It's kind of been a drama-filled year already and I'm not liking that one bit. Let's start with the good though: Reese is doing great and is "advanced" in all her testing and is actually now testing for the "gifted" programs. She's an incredible reader and is often asked to help explain things to other students. She still kind of hates school though and wakes up each morning trying to think of an excuse not to go.
Now let's move on to my Clairey and how she's breaking my heart. When we found out Claire had gotten into Landmark (the charter school in our area) she was super unhappy. She had loved going to preschool at Second Creek Elementary and was excited about the possibility of having the same kindergarten teacher that Reese had. Reese didn't get in to Landmark (lottery system) so that made it trickier too. We have always heard really good things about it (higher scores and supposedly pushes them harder) so we really wanted to take the opportunity to try it out if one of our girls got in. Especially since that makes it pretty much a guarantee that the other will get in next year with "sibling preference".
Somehow Tom and I were successful in hyping it up enough to Claire and were able to get her excited to where she was beaming for that first day. Neither of us cried. Little did I know, we were actually saving all those tears for day 2.
About an hour before school started, she started getting upset and saying how she didn't want to go to "the scary school." I tried to change the subject and took her anyway. Then the tears came...
(Trying to get her out of the car)
Oh how the tears came. I told her I'd walk her to her classroom, but she held onto me for dear life. The teacher pried her off of me and the look on Claire's face broke my heart. She looked so betrayed. Sounds dramatic, I know, but I'm her mommy and she's only 5. I left crying as well. About an hour later I got a call saying that things had settled down, but had first actually gotten pretty bad after I left. She scratched and kicked the teacher and even dug her nails into herself! Claire is emotional, but that was so not typical behavior from her. I was in tears over all of this because 1) I felt bad for the teacher 2) I didn't want her to be known as this difficult and emotionally crazy girl & 3) I felt so bad for Claire! I knew prying her off me wasn't the way to do it, but felt like I didn't have a choice and they just wanted me to leave.
It's been all over the place with these emotions since. She'll have a good week, then BAMMO, right back to freak out (although without the violence, thank goodness). 2 freak-outs just last week, actually. The school psychologist is a friend of ours and she's been helping us out tremendously during these freak-outs.
All of this leaves me so torn. I'm kind of a softy, so a big part of me wants to take her out of the school and put her where Reese is. Reese would be literally right across the hall from her and they would see each other throughout the day. I really think that would be helpful. Claire went to preschool 4 days a week there last year and never once had a meltdown...she'd be back to a familiar place.
Tom, on the other hand, doesn't think we should just give up that easy and thinks we should push her a little more--that whole Mormon blogosphere "We can do hard things" mentality. I see that point, especially if it really is a better school, but I'm not entirely convinced. Is it really? Is it worth it to do this to a 5 year old? (And to her mom?) Especially with the strong possibility that we will be moving in the next couple of years (just closer to Tom's work) and wouldn't be at this school anyway.
We had parent teach conference with her teacher last night and she had some ideas and some great things to say about her. It made me a little more hopeful, but I just hate not knowing how each day is going to go. It's been over a month and I'm exhausted.
Let's end on a happy note with this dude though...
He's pretty hilarious and is doing just great. He feels pretty big and was pretty cute doing his first homework assignment.
6 comments:
Oh man, that is a hard one. We were faced with a similar decision last year with Abby as she tested into a Magnet program in our area for gifted students but it meant going to another school (and splitting away from Landon too.) She was NOT interested in leaving her school and friends although I think the experience could have been great for her. Jason was like Tom, wanting to push her a bit and see what this other school could do for her but ultimately we both realized it is elementary school after all, and she will find great teachers and experiences at either school. The fact that Abby had no desire to go though was really the deciding factor. A happy child is worth so much to their overall success in school and in life. That picture of her in tears just breaks my heart!!
Dadra, this is exactly what I needed to hear today! Claire's home after another freak out and I was just not in the mood to deal with it. I truly don't think it's worth it. Tom still disagrees though. I think I'm going to have him come home and take her each day.
Oh man, that is so heartbreaking just to read about! I'm so sorry she's having a rough time. I don't envy you trying to figure out what to do. Good luck to you both!!
Thank you for sharing. We have had a hard go of it school wise also. I never thought I would be the mom emailing the teacher everyday! You know all the answers...time, prayer, extra love, patience, and help. You're doing everything right...now it's time to deep breathe and eat ice cream!
This makes me so sad! I wish there was something I could do for Claire Bear. Being a kid can be rough sometimes. Good luck!
What a hard decision. But I agree with your friend. If she isn't happy she won't get as much out of school anyways. We had a bad year with my oldest last year and we continue to make up for it everyday this year. I think kids will LEARN wherever they are. If you aren't feeling good about it. I say change. Its so hard when they don't want to go. My daughter cried every day before K for months. She is in 4th now and this is the first year without tears.
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